It’s Friday night, and Jad is preparing to meet up with friends. Fresh out of college and in his first professional job, he’s navigating that space between young adulthood and true independence. Most of his friends are still back home, working in various fields or exploring different paths. But Jad recently moved to a new city for his career—a chance to break free from old routines, though it challenges his boundaries and values daily.
Tonight, Jad is meeting his best friend, Ntombifuthi, who’s in town for a long weekend. Ntombifuthi was his closest friend in college; they shared everything from study sessions to spontaneous road trips, creating memories that felt everlasting. Since graduation, however, their lives have diverged, with Ntombifuthi working back home while Jad embraced his new responsibilities in the city. Still, Jad feels he owes her his time, especially since she traveled to see him.
Yet there’s a dilemma: Jad has a big project deadline on Monday. It’s the most significant presentation he’s been assigned since starting his job, and he wants to impress his team. But he also feels the familiar pull to spend time with Ntombifuthi, the friend who’s always been there for him. After all, isn’t that what youth is about—balancing work and fun, seizing opportunities for both?
He decides to join Ntombifuthi and their old friends at a rooftop bar downtown, brushing off the urge to stay back and work. One night out won’t hurt, he thinks. But as the evening progresses, Jad finds himself facing unexpected questions about his choices, values, and the person he truly wants to become.
The Night Out: A Test of Boundaries
Jad arrives at the rooftop bar, where Ntombifuthi and friends are already laughing and reminiscing. The energy is high, and he quickly gets swept up in the warmth of familiar faces and the thrill of a night without responsibilities. Drinks are poured, laughter fills the air, and soon the group decides to head to a nearby club. Though the presentation lingers in the back of Jad’s mind, he pushes it aside, thinking, It’s just one night, and I deserve this.
Hours later, he stumbles back into his apartment, drained and barely able to make it to bed. As he collapses, he’s overwhelmed by a sense of regret. Was this really worth it?
The Morning After: A Moment of Realization
Saturday morning arrives painfully late. Jad is jolted awake by glaring light flooding his apartment and messages from his manager about final project details. Reality hits him hard. Normally, he would have been up early, fully focused and making progress. But now he’s behind. He forces himself to sit at his desk, but his attempts to focus are constantly interrupted by hazy memories of last night.
In that foggy moment, Jad begins to reflect. Is this really how I want to live? He’s spent so long juggling responsibilities with occasional carefree nights, but something feels different now. This isn’t just about one night of missed productivity; it’s about a deeper alignment he craves—making decisions that reflect the life he wants to build.
That evening, instead of joining Ntombifuthi and others for another night out, Jad decides to stay in. As he settles down with his laptop, he realizes that his values are shifting. He’s grateful for Ntombifuthi, and he doesn’t judge her choices; they’ve always supported each other’s growth. But Jad senses it’s time to prioritize his own standards, building a life where work, growth, and friendships coexist without conflict.
Setting His Standards: Choosing Responsibility and Respect
In the quiet of the evening, Jad makes a decision: he’s going to set personal standards and hold himself to them, not out of obligation, but out of respect for himself. He knows that if he wants to grow in his career and as a person, he can’t live with one foot in two different worlds. He takes a notebook and jots down the qualities that he wants to define his life:
- Responsibility Over Impulsiveness – Jad decides that, in situations like last night, he’ll choose commitment over impulse. He wants his actions to reflect the responsible, reliable person he aspires to be.
- Striving for Quality in His Work – Jad realizes that when he gives his best, it’s not just about impressing his colleagues; it’s a form of self-respect. He wants to look at his work and feel pride, knowing he put his heart into it.
- Respecting His Own Time – Time, he realizes, is one of his most valuable assets. He plans to guard it, dedicating it to pursuits that align with his goals and dreams, and learning to say “no” when necessary.
- Creating His Own Path – Jad knows he doesn’t have to follow anyone else’s path. He values Ntombifuthi’s friendship deeply, but he’s choosing to honor his own journey, even if it means occasionally stepping away from familiar comforts.
Sunday: A New Kind of Fulfillment
The next day, Jad wakes up early, feeling refreshed and ready to tackle his project. He spends the morning fully immersed in his work, free from the regret and self-doubt of the previous day. As the hours pass, he experiences a deep sense of accomplishment. By the time he wraps up, he realizes that this feeling—of fulfillment, clarity, and pride—far outweighs any temporary fun he might have had the night before.
Later, Ntombifuthi texts, inviting him to brunch. Jad accepts, knowing he can now enjoy time with friends, having honored his commitments. At brunch, Ntombifuthi playfully calls him “the serious one,” teasing him for missing out on the weekend. Jad just smiles; he knows he’s not missing out—he’s building something more meaningful.
Lessons Learned: The Power of Personal Standards
For Jad, this weekend marks a pivotal moment. He realizes that personal standards aren’t restrictive rules; they’re guidelines that help him live a life that aligns with his values. He knows he’ll still have fun and spend time with friends, but from now on, he’ll make choices that reflect his goals and respect his priorities. Here are some lessons Jad learned along the way:
- Standards Provide Clarity – Each decision becomes easier when Jad uses his values as a guide. He no longer has to wrestle with doubts; his standards offer a clear path.
- Self-Respect Over Temporary Approval – By setting and following his standards, Jad gains a respect for himself that no party or temporary approval can replace. Living by his standards helps him feel confident, aligned, and fulfilled.
- Attracting the Right Opportunities – With his standards in place, Jad notices a shift—not just in how he views himself, but in how others view him. His manager begins to trust him with bigger projects, his colleagues see him as a reliable teammate, and friends respect his choices.
- Growth Is About Consistency – Personal standards aren’t about perfection; they’re about progress.Jad doesn’t aim to be flawless; he aims to stay committed to his growth. Each time he honors his standards, he moves closer to the person he wants to become.
Final Reflection: Creating a Life You’re Proud Of
To any young adult reading Jad’s story, remember that setting standards isn’t about giving up joy or freedom. It’s about creating a life that feels truly yours—a life where your choices reflect your values, and each action aligns with the person you want to be.
Consider the consequences of compromising on your standards. Repeatedly doing so, even in small ways, can chip away at self-respect and lead to self-doubt. Over time, this can result in a life that feels misaligned or even hollow, as we settle for less than what truly fulfills us. Each time we lower our standards, we risk undermining the foundation of our goals and self-worth.
As you navigate young adulthood, take a moment to ask yourself: What do I stand for? What matters to me? Like Jad, you have the power to build a life you can be proud of, filled with choices that honor your goals and values.
So, as the world pulls you in countless directions, let your standards be your guide. They’ll help you create a life that’s not only successful, but meaningful, and above all, true to who you are.
Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father,
I pray for the strength and wisdom to uphold my personal standards, guiding my thoughts and actions each day. Help me to stay true to my values and principles, even in challenging times. May I strive for excellence in all I do, treating myself and others with respect and kindness. Grant me the courage to set boundaries that foster growth and integrity. Thank you for your guidance and support on this journey.
Amen.
Hey, I’m Angeline, your RN and founder of Finally Am Found. With a heart for mentorship, I’ve been guiding teens and young adults since 2017. As a Registered Nurse, I blend medical expertise with personal experiences to create a Christ-aligned space for self-discovery. Connect with Angeline on Facebook and let the journey to self-discovery begin!
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