Parents or guardians are incredibly significant in our lives, as they provide guidance and support for us, no matter how old we are. They act as the earthly instruments of God, leading and directing the young ones according to His divine will. As custodians of God’s creation, they are responsible for nurturing and caring for their children, providing them with love, a safe space, a conducive environment (emotional and physical support), education, food, nutrition, and all the necessary tools to thrive in life by living it purposefully. Parents and guardians are the bedrock of our existence, and it’s only wise to recognize their efforts in gratitude for their unwavering dedication and sacrifice.
The Role of Parents
Parents play a crucial role in the lives of those under their care as well as those who admire and respect them. They are like compasses that provide direction and guidance to their children and those around them. However, this role is not an easy one and comes with great responsibility. Surprisingly, there is no manual to guide parents in this delicate task, but they understand that it is a divine project given to them by God. In their children, they see hope for the world. Many parents feel a deep connection with the divine and rely on their dedication and trust to navigate the challenges of raising children. Despite the lack of a manual, they strive to do what they believe is right, hoping that their efforts will lead to a positive outcome.
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The Unique Perspective of Parents
As we age, we often lose touch with the experiences of being a child or a teenager. However, parents have the unique advantage of having lived through both stages. They comprehend the difficulties and pleasures of growing up, even though they have moved past that phase of life. Throughout their childhood and teenage years, they encountered a wide array of experiences that contributed to shaping their present selves. Some of these experiences were positive, while others were negative. These experiences might have involved relationships, school, and various environments that influenced their personalities and attitudes in a good or bad way, and they may also have made poor choices, so they are not perfect. Consequently, parents possess a distinctive outlook on life, having navigated the highs and lows of childhood and teenage years. However, they also recognize that they cannot rely solely on their experiences because times have changed, and their offspring are not replicas of themselves but possess their uniqueness. It is challenging for a parent to navigate this and raise a well-rounded individual prepared to face the world successfully.
Empathizing with Parents
By understanding the above aspect as a youth, I empathize with the fact that parents are not perfect and that they are doing their best to provide you with the best life possible. I know it can be tough and frustrating at times, but it’s important not to take their efforts for granted. Instead, work together as a team with your parents, address issues respectfully, and avoid playing the blame game. Remember that your parents face challenges in balancing their own lives with yours and remember they have their own dreams too they are pursuing, so try to be understanding and compassionate. Parents are parents, regardless of their education, economic status, marital status, social status, or physical health and ability. Nothing diminishes their status as parents. Their goal is to unconditionally love and care for their children, even if their expression of it may seem strange at times.
Building a Positive Relationship
It’s important to acknowledge and appreciate the efforts of your parents and work together with them to achieve your goals. By treating your parents with respect and understanding, you can build a strong and positive relationship with them, which will benefit your future relationships with family, friends, and everyone else. While you can let their positive values influence you, it’s also important to recognize and address any negative traits they may have. For example, if you see your father being abusive due to alcohol, you can make a conscious decision to not let that behaviour affect you. By knowing and understanding who you are, you can better navigate how to respond to these with respect and make choices based on values and principles rather than on circumstances and moods. As a teen or young adult, you have a chance to stop the cycle of damage to your future self.
Learning from Difficult Situations
Someone once said that it isn’t the snake bite that causes the most harm; it’s the act of chasing the snake that drives the poison to the heart and ultimately kills you. This phrase means that the initial harm caused by a snake bite may not be as serious as the act of panicking and trying to catch or kill the snake, which can cause the poison to spread and become more dangerous. In other words, it’s not the initial event, such as your parents’ separation or adoption, that causes harm, but it is how you choose to react to it. You can either take a positive thing from it or choose the negative and start being fearful and anxious. You can learn a lesson from it or start the blame game and hold onto unforgiveness, which will ultimately harm yourself and you participate in killing your dreams slowly. If you constantly blame your parents or guardians, it means you are giving away your power. Blaming others will make it difficult for you to make positive changes in your life and take responsibility for your actions. Ultimately, you will remain a victim for the rest of your life.
Setting Realistic Expectations
It is important to keep in mind that setting impossibly high standards for your parents can have a profound impact on your sense of self-worth. If you constantly demand perfection from them, you may come to expect nothing less from yourself. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and even depression, as you struggle to meet unrealistic expectations. Therefore, it is crucial to be kind and compassionate towards your parents and to recognize that they, like all humans, are fallible and imperfect.
Summary
They’re Not Perfect (and Neither Are You)
It’s easy to get frustrated when parents make mistakes or have different expectations. Remember, they’re human too, and they’re still learning and growing just like you are.
Communication is Key
Even if it feels awkward at times, open and honest communication is essential. Talk about your feelings, concerns, and hopes for the future. Actively listen to their perspective as well.
Respect Goes Both Ways
While you deserve respect from your parents/guardians, it’s important to show them respect too, even when you disagree. This can involve things like using appropriate language, listening attentively, and considering their point of view.
Finding Common Ground
There may be areas where your interests differ. Look for ways to connect on shared activities or hobbies. This can help strengthen your bond and create a more positive atmosphere. Engaging in shared activities like helping them do chores and hobbies creates a sense of connection and reduces many tensions. It allows you to see things from their perspective, fostering understanding and empathy. Shared activities also lead to positive interactions and laughter, making communication more enjoyable and strengthening the family dynamic. Participating in each other’s interests can reinforce shared values and create a sense of unity and belonging. Ultimately, finding common ground strengthens the bond, promotes understanding and respect, and creates a more positive and enjoyable family atmosphere, giving them peace and hope.
Negotiation is a Skill
Learning to negotiate effectively is a valuable life skill. Discuss your needs and wants with your parents/guardians and find solutions that work for everyone. Be prepared to compromise and find common ground.
Independence vs. Responsibility
As you mature, you’ll naturally crave more independence. However, with increased independence comes increased responsibility. Demonstrate your ability to be responsible to earn more trust and freedom.
Appreciating Their Efforts
Take the time to appreciate what your parents/guardians do for you. Even if they don’t always express it perfectly, they likely care about you deeply and want what’s best for you.
It’s Okay to Disagree
Disagreements are normal in any family. The important thing is to learn how to disagree respectfully. Focus on the issue at hand, avoid personal attacks, and be open to finding a solution.
Remember, They’re (Probably) on Your Side
Despite disagreements, most parents/guardians ultimately want their children to be happy and successful. Keep that in mind during tough conversations.
You Can Seek Outside Help
If communication is breaking down or there are serious issues at home, don’t be afraid to seek help from a trusted adult, therapist, or counsellor like us. They can provide guidance and support in navigating challenging situations.
Work on Yourself
By constantly enhancing yourself, you lighten the weight your parents may be carrying. The constant worry about their children’s well-being, academic performance, and risky behaviours can take a toll on parents’ mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and burnout. The stress of navigating the dramatic years can also manifest in physical health problems like high blood pressure, heart issues, sleep disturbances, etc.
Cherish and Respect Your Parents
Irrespective of the circumstances, it is crucial to cherish and hold in high regard one’s parents. Endeavour to improve yourself and become a beacon of positive influence, both in the immediate and future periods. As a child, it is vital to play a commendable role and strive to become a model citizen. In the event of being a victim of parental abuse, we implore you to seek assistance or reach out to us for the necessary support and guidance.
What heavy thing are you going through with your parents? Write down Below.
Hey, I’m Angeline, your RN and founder of Finally Am Found. With a heart for mentorship, I’ve been guiding teens and young adults since 2017. As a Registered Nurse, I blend medical expertise with personal experiences to create a Christ-aligned space for self-discovery. Connect with Angeline on Facebook and let the journey to self-discovery begin!
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Thanks for feedback and your interest, we learn at every opportunity. Great life ahead